2014년 10월 26일 일요일

My First Draft

We live on information-originated society. Can you make a rough estimate how much information on the internet? According to Andy Greenhaw, who is digital strategist, 1.2 zettabytes(1.3 trillion gigabytes) is now stored in cyberspace. Because of these much information, we can easily approach to them and get information. However, can we say that it is just good? As growing amount of information, many problems are also emerged. Among many problems, leakage of resident registration number is serious. These days there is a debate about collecting resident registration number. Resident registration number is very important and private information. However, this secret information wanders on the internet and open to other people. To prevent more serious problem, resident registration number should not be collected on the internet.

Resident registration number originally made for prevention of espionage in 1970s. Give the number to south Korea people, and find that people have the number. If there are people who don't have the number, they are pointed out for spy. The problem is that, resident registration number is remain unchanged forever. Because of it, the number becomes have function of distinguish and many companies and government require resident registration number for offering service and condition of deal. As this processes are going on, many companies store resident registration numbers, as they store them, they flow out them. Therefore many people can know and have others numbers.

When we sign in some internet sites, we need several private information such as name, birthday, e-mail address and so on. All of information are sensitive, however, among them resident registration number is may be the most sensitive information because it contains so much information about us. Resident registration number contains our birth place, birth day, gender etc. Therefore many people are sensitive and want to protect their number. However, these days, this important information of us is floating on the internet because of leakage of resident registration number. Think about people who you don't know already know your number even don't know who you are. Also your number can be used anywhere by people who know your resident registration number. It can become very serious problem. There are already several leakages of the number. To prevent these problems, resident registration number should not be collected on the internet. Companies or people who require resident registration number usually say they need the number because they need to recognize and distinguish people. However, because of leakage of the number, resident registration number loses its value. Because of leakage of the number, many people can know other people's numbers also there are some dealings to sell and buy others resident registration number. Therefore, we can use other people's number when we sign in some sites, credit card, even can use bad ways. Can we really say resident registration number has its value to recognize individuals? The number lose its value and reliability.
Also these leakages cause too many problems and make too many damages. As mentioned earlier, we can use other people's number for bad ways. Therefore someone can get damaged like pay money involuntarily or get tickets for illegal behaviors that we didn't do.
Many people say resident registration numbers are needed to recognize individuals, however, the numbers are not only thing to distinguish people. For examples, go to bank and make your own account right now. We don't need our resident registration number to make own account. Only things we need to write are name, birthday, address, job, telephone number, home number etc. Without resident registration number, and with these information, bank can recognize us. This is why foreign banks are well going on where there are no resident registration number and Korea bank can make accounts for foreigners. Moreover, there is the alternative of resident registration number. It is My-PIN. My-PIN is the number that consists of 13-digit number for unprescribed. People can get the number through the internet site or dong office. We can us the number when we are issued membership card, talk to ARS, or book lental etc.

We use resident registration number for long time so it is hard to adapt. It seems to be reasonable that collecting resident registration number is needed. According to C-NEWS, 11.7% of 2000 people are agree with collecting resident registration number on the internet. They says if collecting resident registration number is banned, it is hard to find lost ID and password also communities can be murky. However, we can find our id and password without resident registration number. We can find them through our e-mail and phone number. These days, most of pages use e-mail address and phone number to find id and password. Moreover, people say communities can be murky if resident registration number not be collected, however, it is not the problem with the resident registration number. It is the problem with consciousness of people. Of course, we can prevent double sign in and through identification, people have responsibilities. However, it is just part of problem. Consciousness is not changed if we collect resident registration number.

As a one person who live in information-oriented society, we get many benefits and convenience from a lot of information. However, as much as we get, there are following problems. Sure enough, leakages of our information are occur especially about resident registration number and cause many damages. These days there is a debate of collecting resident registration number on the internet. Resident registration number originally made for prevention of espionage in 1970s and its function gradually develop so these days it uses for recognize individuals. However, can resident registration number can really function well? Certainly not. Also resident registration number is not the only way to recognize individuals. Therefore resident registration number should not be collected on the internet.
  

Conclusion


My conclusion 1

In conclusion, collecting resident registration number should not be collected on the internet. By collecting the numbers, there are too many damages. Also these days resident registration number lose its value because of leakage of the number. Moreover resident registration number is not the only way to recognize and distinguish people. There are many other ways and there is also the alternative number of resident registration number. Therefore resident registration number should not be collected on the internet.


My conclusion 2

As a one person who live in information-oriented society, we get many benefits and convenience from a lot of information. However, as much as we get, there are following problems. Sure enough, leakages of our information are occur especially about resident registration number and cause many damages. These days there is a debate of collecting resident registration number on the internet. Resident registration number originally made for prevention of espionage in 1970s and its function gradually develop so these days it uses for recognize individuals. However, can resident registration number can really function well? Certainly not. Also resident registration number is not the only way to recognize individuals. Therefore resident registration number should not be collected on the internet.

Refutation and Concession

1. What is my thesis?
To prevent more serious problem, resident registration number should not be collected on the internet.

2. What is the opposite position?

Collecting resident registration number is needed.

3. What arguments can I anticipate?

2. It is hard to find lost ID and password.
3. Communities can be murky.

4. How will I counter those arguments?
Concede some inconveniences and suggest more safety alternative ways.


Refutation and Concession

We use resident registration number for long time so it is hard to adapt. It seems to be reasonable that collecting resident registration number is needed. According to C-NEWS, 11.7% of 2000 people are agree with collecting resident registration number on the internet. They says if collecting resident registration number is banned, it is hard to find lost ID and password also communities can be murky. However, we can find our id and password without resident registration number. We can find them through our e-mail and phone number. These days, most of pages use e-mail address and phone number to find id and password. Moreover, people say communities can be murky if resident registration number not be collected, however, it is not the problem with the resident registration number. It is the problem with consciousness of people. Of course, we can prevent double sign in and through identification, people have responsibilities. However, it is just part of problem. Consciousness is not changed if we collect resident registration number.




http://www.trendmonitor.co.kr/html/01_trend/01_korea_view.asp?IDX=80&period=&TopSearchList=&TopSearchText=%C8%B8%BF%F8&LeftCategory=&GotoPage=2

The confirmation


1. What is my thesis?
To prevent more serious problem, resident registration number should not be collected on the internet.


2. What types of source am I using to defend my thesis?
I'll mainly use examples that will emphasize the necessity of regulation. Some experiments, and statistics will be used. I'll mainly use examples, explanation, and statistics that will emphasize the damages for collecting resident registration number.


3. Are my arguments mostly based on evidence, logic or emotion?
My arguments are mostly based on evidence that shows the need that collecting resident registration number should be banned. 


Confirmation

When we sign in some internet sites, we need several private information such as name, birthday, e-mail address and so on. All of information are sensitive, however, among them resident registration number is may be the most sensitive information because it contains so much information about us. Resident registration number contains our birth place, birth day, gender etc. Therefore many people are sensitive and want to protect their number. However, these days, this important information of us is floating on the internet because of leakage of resident registration number. Think about people who you don't know already know your number even don't know who you are. Also your number can be used anywhere by people who know your resident registration number. It can become very serious problem. There are already several leakages of the number. To prevent these problems, resident registration number should not be collected on the internet. Companies or people who require resident registration number usually say they need the number because they need to recognize and distinguish people. However, because of leakage of the number, resident registration number loses its value. Because of leakage of the number, many people can know other people's numbers also there are some dealings to sell and buy others resident registration number. Therefore, we can use other people's number when we sign in some sites, credit card, even can use bad ways. Can we really say resident registration number has its value to recognize individuals? The number lose its value and reliability. 

Also these leakages cause too many problems and make too many damages. As mentioned earlier, we can use other people's number for bad ways. Therefore someone can get damaged like pay money involuntarily or get tickets for illegal behaviors that we didn't do.

 Many people say resident registration numbers are needed to recognize individuals, however, the numbers are not only thing to distinguish people. For examples, go to bank and make your own account right now. We don't need our resident registration number to make own account. Only things we need to write are name, birthday, address, job, telephone number, home number etc. Without resident registration number, and with these information, bank can recognize us. This is why foreign banks are well going on where there are no resident registration number and Korea bank can make accounts for foreigners. Moreover, there is the alternative of resident registration number. It is My-PIN. My-PIN is the number that consists of 13-digit number for unprescribed. People can get the number through the internet site or dong office. We can us the number when we are issued membership card, talk to ARS, or book lental etc.

The Narration


2. The narrationwhich summarizes relevant background material, provides any information the audience needs to know about the environment and circumstances that produce the argument, and set up the stakes-what’s at risk in this question. In academic writing, this often takes the form of a literature review.


I will start by describing how much information on the internet and following information leakage problem. Among many problems i will describe the the problem of collecting resident registration number. Also I will show the statistic that show the damage of the problem. This statistic can explain why my argument is produced.



My persuasive argument thesis is: To prevent more serious problem, resident registration number should not be collected on the internet.

1. What do people already know about my topic?
Leakage of resident registration number is rampant these days.


2. What research has already been done about my topic?


3. What are the implications of my argument (What if I'm right? What if I'm right and people ignore me?)

There is the alternative of resident registration number called My-PIN. My-PIN can complement weakness of the resident registration number. If resident registration numbers keep collecting, damages of leakage become more serious.


My Narration

Resident registration number originally made for prevention of espionage in 1970s. Give the number to south Korea people, and find that people have the number. If there are people who don't have the number, they are pointed out for spy. The problem is that, resident registration number is remain unchanged forever. Because of it, the number becomes have function of distinguish and many companies and government require resident registration number for offering service and condition of deal. As this processes are going on, many companies store resident registration numbers, as they store them, they flow out them. Therefore many people can know and have others numbers.

Intro

1. The introduction, which warms up the audience, establishes goodwill and rapport with the readers, and announces the general theme or thesis of the argument.


We live on information-originated society. Can you make a rough estimate how much information on the internet? According to Andy Greenhaw, who is digital strategist, 1.2 zettabytes(1.3 trillion gigabytes) is now stored in cyberspace. Because of these much information, we can easily approach to them and get information. However, can we say that it is just good? As growing amount of information, many problems are also emerged. Among many problems, leakage of resident registration number is serious. These days there is a debate about collecting resident registration number. Resident registration number is very important and private information. However, this secret information wanders on the internet and open to other people. To prevent more serious problem, resident registration number should not be collected on the internet.


  1. Attracts the audience - I displayed the accurate information and throw a question to readers.
  2. Explains the topic. - By explaining the seriousness of problem, i emphasize my argument.
  3. Declares the thesis of your argument. - I suggest my argument directly at the end.


Reference
https://andygreenhaw.wordpress.com/tag/amount-of-online-information/

2014년 10월 25일 토요일

Classical Argument Outline


1. The introductionwhich warms up the audience, establishes goodwill and rapport with the readers, and announces the general theme or thesis of the argument. 


I will start by describing information-oriented society and how easy to access to information. Then i will shift attention to diadvantages and problems of easy approach to information and mention about information leakage such as resident registration number. I'll end my introduction with "Resident registration number should not be collected on the Internet."
  
2. The narration, which summarizes relevant background material, provides any information the audience needs to know about the environment and circumstances that produce the argument, and set up the stakes-what’s at risk in this question. In academic writing, this often takes the form of a literature review.


I will start by describing how much information on the internet and following information leakage problem. Among many problems i will describe the the problem of collecting resident registration number. Also I will show the statistic that show the damage of the problem. This statistic can explain why my argument is produced.



 3. The confirmation,which lays out in a logical order (usually strongest to weakest or most obvious to most subtle) the claims that support the thesis, providing evidence for each claim.
 1. Too many damages                                    
   Using damage case of leakage of resident registration number, i will inform the seriousness of the problem to people. Also i want to show how dangerous leakage of resident registration number and what kind of damage can we get. 

 2. Lose its value

  First, i will explain the original functions of resident registration number and how it develop. Then i will explain corrupt purpose of collecting resident registration number. Also i will explain why the number lose its value.

3. Safer alternative
I'll suggest the alternative of resident registration number and its advantages. Also i will emphasize the its strength compared with resident registration number and how it complement weakness of resident registration number.

4. The refutation and concession, which looks at opposing viewpoints to the writer’s claims, anticipating objections from the audience, and allowing as much of the opposing viewpoints as possible without weakening the thesis.
 I think the opponents mention the alternative of resident registration number that is not appropriate to replace it. Also they may say if collecting resident registration number is banned, there are no way to recognize people. Then, i will suggest the information about the alternative and explain how it complement weakness of resident registration number. Also I will explain how we can recognize people without resident registration number.

5. The summation, which provides a strong conclusion, amplifying the force of the argument,  and showing the readers that this solution is the best at meeting the circumstances.
I will close with a summary of my previous points, and emphasize damage of leakage of resident registration number, and have a brief consideration of the positive result when collecting resident registration number is banned. I will end with a reaffirmation of my original thesis.

Research: Increase of My-pin users


Research: Increase of My-PIN users
Source:About My-PIN
http://www.munhwa.com/news/view.html?no=2014102401071343100004

My Topic:
Resident registration number should not be collected on the Internet.

What I hope to learn from this source:
I want to know about penetration rate of My-PIN.

Notes:
  1. The number of  My-PIN users exceed a million in 70 days.
  2. Place to use My-PIN also increase from 17 places on August to 35 places on October.
  3. According to Safety Executive, the number of My-PIN users increases in the way that it is easy to make My-PIN to I-PIN users and also cognitive method through resident registration number is banned.
  4. Not only internet based companies such as Naver, Daum, Nexon, nc soft but Samsung, Hyundai, E mart, Korean Air and Asiana Airlines apply My-PIN.
Final Thoughts:
 I think this source is useful to refute to opponents when they state the reason about low penetration of My-PIN.

2014년 10월 6일 월요일

Articulation

1) My argument

I want to argue about resident registeration number problem on the Internet. Personal information such as resident registeration number is very important. We can get damage when it becomes known to other people. However, These days, the leakage of personal information such as resident registeration number is rampant on the cyberspace. On the other hand, many people don't know its seriousness. I want to awake the seriousness about this problem.



2) How I found My Argument
 
In 'Harvard Sampler', there is a sentence: The spread of information is dangerous, so the technology that spreads it must be regulated. Through this sentence, i can recall the seriousness of the information lackage. Also thesedays, there are debates about collecting resident registeration number because of the information lackage. I sometimes wonder why the interent sites collect people's resident registeration number in some cases and i think collecting resident registeration number is too dangerous.


3) New research questions
 
1. What kind of reasons that opponents can refute?
2. What are the things that the alternative of resident registration number can complement against of the damages?
3. What kind of damages are given to people bacuase of information lackage?


4) Connections to the Harvard Sampler

My argument can connect with chapter 2. As the title of it, chapter 2 talks about fear, protection and liberty in cyberspace. Liberty in cyberspace should be respected, but it can cause problems. Therefore i think there are need some alternatives or regulations to protect problems in some degree.